Friday 22 June 2012

Lost & Confused : On Insecurity in an Academic Environment

In the 19th Century the Oxford University Press published a book on birds in Madagascar(1). It was a very expensive book to produce, with colour prints at a time when that was expensive, and excellent scholarship. And it sold ten copies.

Even today, with many many universities and interested people across the globe, most academic books sell barely 200 - 300 copies(2), mostly to other academic libraries. The low sales are because, as a rule, these books are so specialised and pitched at such a high level that very few want to buy or read them (3). This is the greatest thing about academia - that there are a collection of minds, all around the world, functioning at an exceptionally high level, and engaging in dialogue with each other. They hopefully raise the tone of society and make us more civilised, but otherwise contribute little tangible to the world outside the academic bubble (4), which nevertheless continues to fund and subsidise them. This never ceases to amaze me.

One of the best things about being a postgraduate student is that I have my foot in the door of that world. I have the great privilege of rubbing shoulders with the sort of extremely clever people who publish those kinds of books. I've seen them think at a million miles an hour, I've seen them work unceasingly for days to produce something the world has never seen before, I've eaten their baking. I feel extremely fortunate.

On the other hand, this can also be one of the worst things about being a postgraduate. One is surrounded all day, every day by geniuses. How can you not feel insecure when they translate in ten seconds, on the spot, the passage that you've been struggling over for an hour and a half? When you overhear them debating a point and do not understand a thing said by either side? When they look at your work and a ask an offhanded one sentance question, which demolishes your entire argument?

It is difficult to imagine that they were once grad students themselves. They must have always been as gods among mortals. And if you're not divine now, how can you ever hope to truly reach that level?

And this is why I think it is important to take a step back every now and again and see academics outside academia - where they are regular mortal people. To see that they can be fairly ignorant about things outside their subjects. To see that alcohol affects them as much as any one else. To see that sometimes when they don't seem to make sense it is because they do not in fact make sense. To see that you may know as much or more about your thesis topic than they do - that one day that thesis could itself be a book that no one will buy.



(1) Actually, it might have been birds from somewhere else - I read about this in Simon Winchester's The Meaning of Everything, a very good history of the Oxford English Dictionary - But it was a few years ago, and I no longer have the book at hand. At any rate, the point stands.

(2) See discussion here: http://www.poliscijobrumors.com/topic.php?id=26495

(3) And most of those who do are grad students, who can't afford to purchase their own copies.

(4) Every so often some major discovery occurs which does cause a tangible change, but these are erratic, unpredictable, and not always positive.

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